When I was a little girl all I needed to keep me entertained was a piece of paper and a pen. Writing stories was one of my absolute favorite things to do. My Mom used to keep me supplied with writing prompts. The one that inspired this story can be seen here.
A few days ago I found this one that I had written when I was probably eleven or so.
The beyond ridiculous details had me laughing, and because they say laughter is good for us all I will be sharing the story with you.
Tea With the Gaftons
I used to think my life was the boring, average woman's life, but that all changed a week ago when Mr. Wimple became my neighbor.
I woke up to a gorgeously sunny day and immediately headed to my kitchen where I started baking scones and boiling jams. Tomorrow the Gaftons would be coming over for tea and everything needed to be perfect. You see the Gaftons were only the most important people of all of Cordinia. Mrs. Gafton was rumored to have the most expensive hatpin of not only Cordinia but all of the neighboring villages too.
So I baked and baked. I scrubbed, boiled, and baked some more. As for the subject of house-cleaning it wasn't very messy since I lived alone, so I needn't clean too much.
While lifting a jar of preserves from the pantry I heard an elephant screech. "Very weird indeed" I thought to myself. But the explanation was simple of course, I had baked too much and was a bit dizzy. "I'll go lie down" I said to myself, "I've worked way too long". But sadly while walking past my front door the elephant noise I had heard earlier was indeed standing in my front yard. After recovering from a miniature heart attack I opened my front door and found to my immense surprise not only an elephant but two giraffes, three zebras, a dog, two kangaroos, and one short and quite bald man.
"What is the meaning of this?" I asked, mentally checking that I didn't order any wild animals.
"I'm Mr. Wimple" the little man said.
"Yes, and I'm Gertrude Whifftopla, and I would kindly ask you to remove these beasts from my yard."
"I'm...er very sorry miss, I'm....er just taking these here "beasts" to my yard" he said in an outlandish accent.
"Why do you have them?" I asked incredulously
"I'm havin' a circus tomorry and need 'em" he explained.
"Surely you don't intend to have these out and about?" I asked knowing that the owner of a very expensive hat pin could hardly approve of zoo animals roaming the neighborhood.
"I'll keep them in my yard miss, don't warry." he said.
I stomped in frustration as I went back into my house and began planning my tea for the sewing room instead of the parlor. "Maybe those beasts will be out of sight" I said hopefully.
The next day dawned with many glorious promises hanging in the air. In no time the sewing room was ready and the food carefully planned and placed.
Mr. Wimple started his "Zoo Circus"earlier so it would be safe to bring the Gaftons through the front door.
After thinking about the animal situation for a little while I burst out laughing, most people worry that their scones will burn for tea, but I have to worry that an elephant might flatten my guests. What a dilemma!
One o'clock came swiftly and soon a carriage pulled into my driveway, Mr. Gafton stepped out nimbly and opened the carriage door for his wife.
Mrs. Gafton was dressed in a long, poofy, purple dress, a frightfully green hat, and the biggest, most positively, ugly, glass, parrot, hatpin.
I hurried to open my front door and soon we were all seated at my sewing room table. I made sure not to say anything about her attire unless she asked.
I served my scones and jams without anything absurd happening and it wasn't until the roast veal was being served that a zebra neighed.
"Why, whatever was that?" asked the very shocked Mrs. Gafton.
"Um.... my cuckoo clock doesn't cuckoo properly anymore" I replied, hoping nobody would notice that it was 1:42 in the afternoon. The rest of the afternoon went by smoothly enough with many compliments being offered for all the dainty sweets I served. At three o'clock they got up and excused themselves saying thank you for the splendid tea. But just then two giraffes stuck their heads through the window knocking over my sandwich platter in attempts to eat Mrs, Gafton's feathery green boa.
Their intended snack however fell to the floor along with Mrs. Gafton herself who had fainted, quite to the amusement of Mr. Gafton. But while mid flight Mrs. Gafton's hatpin ever so poetically flew through the air and and hit the floor shattering into thousands of little pieces. I was so horrified I couldn't speak, and when Mr. Gafton finally stopped laughing I noticed Mrs. Gafton stirring, "My hatpin!" she moaned hysterically, "My great Grandmother gave it to me as a wedding gift!" she sobbed.
"I'm ever so sorry" I said, "My neighbor Mr. Wimple was holding a circus today, I'm sure the giraffes didn't mean to destroy your antique."
Mrs. Gafton however took one look out the window towards Mr. Wimple and stormed out of the sewing room and through the front door. She simply refused to get out of her carriage and waited impatiently for Mr. Gafton so he could accompany her home.
"I never liked that awful hatpin away," Mr. Gafton said as he left out the back door. As their carriage drove away I didn't feel any remorse for what had happened because I had heard Mr. Gafton telling Mr. Wimple that he had two very fine giraffes.
As you all can tell, my story was ridiculous but I think it's one of the the better one's from my early writing years..