In the Pursuit of Matcha

  I'm a girl who loves adventures, especially the unexpected kinds, and today one greeted me with its arms open wide. It all started out innocently enough; I had recently read multiple skincare books in my determination to clear up my skin and they all promoted matcha (a Japanese green tea). Yes, matcha is primarily intended for consumption, but I wanted to use it for face masks that I found multiple recipes for.

  This afternoon Mum and I had to run some errands and we were going to stop by a little country shop along the way where I knew that matcha was for sale. I was very excited at the opportunity to finally get my hands on this health guru-proclaimed super food and I set out having completely resolved to procure some of this wondrous green tea that I've heard so much about, and along the way I made three unexpected friends, hid behind a shelf, and waved tiny bags of walnuts in front of a lady's face.

  If you know me well you will know that I am a firm believer that the best adventures must be had on foot (preferably in bare feet) and so it was very fitting that as I was driving to that particular matcha-carrying store I suddenly realized that while I was wearing shoes, I had forgotten to wear socks. Don't ask me how that even happens because I have no idea either. After confessing that horrible fact to Mum she instructed me to stop in at a Dollar General and fetch some socks.

  I ran around inside of that store for quite a while and after finding some socks that had strange motivational quotes on the soles I bought them and promptly dressed my feet when I returned to our vehicle.

  Having fixed that little issue I went on my way and soon we were parked in front of that little country store.

  We browsed for a while and then I decided that it was time to find the matcha. I looked all over the tea section but couldn't find any. However, I remembered that they had a section in the store where they sold specialty drinks, usually the exotic sort. It seemed like the next most likely place for matcha so I abandoned Mum and ran over to the shelves of coffees and teas imported from lesser-known countries.

  While there, a particularly effusive and smiling, curly-headed woman walked past me and chatted merrily with her two friends. They were discussing walnuts because apparently the bubbly woman needed them for the dinner that she was making this evening. I listened to their conversation only vaguely because I was very focused on finding matcha.

  No matter how long I stared at those shelves I couldn't find any. But I wasn't ready to give up yet. I was walking back to the initial tea shelf and I just passed an aisle where they had a whole collection of chopped walnuts dangling in tiny bags. I thought of the woman that I had overheard and considered telling her about my discovery but I decided not to just in case I had misheard her or in the chance that she might be offended at my eavesdropping.

  I had just decided not to tell her when I heard a familiar voice behind me. "Excuse me miss, do you work here?"

  I turned around and that very same woman I was just telling you about was standing there with a hopeful expression on her face. I couldn't stand to disappoint her so after telling her that no, I don't work at that establishment, I told her I might know where the something was that she was looking for (after all, I had a vague idea about what she might be looking for).

  She smiled and said that she was looking for walnuts. Naturally I spun around and gestured quite dramatically at the tiny bags of walnuts. She laughed in a very musical and contagious way and declared that she was looking for a much larger bag but she appreciated my efforts. I wished her good luck and went right back to hunting down that highly elusive tea of mine.

  After searching high and low, left and right, for it I decided that I couldn't find it by myself. Just as I was about to give up, that lovely lady and her two friends came around the corner. I decided that turnabout was fair play and asked her if she might know where matcha was.

  I ended up explaining what it was to all of those ladies. They also discovered that I wanted it not to consume but to use on my face. It amused all of them so much that within seconds we were all standing around laughing. One of them calmed down enough to say that she bet I discovered matcha online and after I admitted that I did they all laughed again until they were shaking. Those dear women helped me look for matcha for a while but then we all gave up together and I followed their suggestion to ask someone up front about it.

  Soon I had a store employee walking confidently in front of me. She marched right up to that dreadful tea shelf and after rummaging around the back she pulled out a teensy packet of matcha. "This is the last one" she said. I thanked her profusely and was just doing a celebratory happy dance when those three women I had met walked by and spotted the matcha. They congratulated me and after laughing some more they went on their way.

  I glanced down at the price tag on that tiny bag and almost fainted. I walked over to my Mum and we decided that it simply wasn't worth it. I detested the idea of putting it back after knowing what a great ordeal it had been to actually find some. The three women were still standing around chatting cheerfully with one another and so I hid behind shelves and once they were looking elsewhere I dashed across the aisles and tucked the matcha back in its place. Having accomplished my mission I walked back to my Mum and we both left that place feeling like an adventure had just been had.

  I didn't end up with what I had set out wanting, but I did leave that store having experienced something much better, a completely absurd adventure whose memory will serve to delight me for many days ahead.

Of Books and Bathrooms

    I'm all for adventures and I believe that all awkward moments are adventures, just not the fun kind. It was precisely that sort of adventure I had recently.  
    This tale starts off as all tales ought to. It was a lovely, sunny day in summer. I drove to the library in the morning and was still feeling victorious as I walked into the library because I had actually managed to park our vehicle perfectly inside the marked lines of the parking lot. I knew exactly what books I wanted so I marched off toward the shelves with the vigor and assurance that comes with having a plan. Within a short amount of time I had the books in hand and went to check out. The librarian was a cheerful, talkative curly-headed woman, her curls alone have secured a bond of friendship between us. After my books were checked out I took them out to the vehicle and then went back inside to see if the rest of my family had decided on what they wanted, in other words, I went inside to wait on them. Mum informed me that a friend of hers is going to meet us so we would wait yet for a bit. With that in mind I realized that I needed to use the restroom (a.k.a bathroom, a.k.a powder room, etc.). Having never used them at the library before, I was slightly unsure how to actually get to them.
     I marched off and found the restrooms. I felt very accomplished at that time. Not only did I manage to have decent parking that day, but I had also just found the bathroom unassisted. The whole "I'll be a grownup in a few years" thing wasn't looking so hard after all.
    The bathroom was a small room with two stalls and two rather old-looking sinks. When it came time to wash my hands I noted that the rather old-looking sinks had knobs that you were supposed to push. Now I can see that the fact that you have to push the knobs meant the sinks weren't so very old or outdated, but at the time I was focused on my task and thought nothing of it. It was admittedly fun getting to push the knobs down to turn the water on. I bopped both the hot water knob and the cold water knob and the faucet merrily spewed a stream of water over my hands. As I washed I noticed that the hot water knob was loose so I bopped it politely to fix it and then decided it was time to dry my hands. I bopped both the hot water knob and the cold water one, neither stopped gushing. I stared at them trying to figure out how to turn them off. I pushed them both down, I twisted one towards the right, then towards the left, I smashed and bashed, pushed and bopped but still the faucet spewed water. I was starting to feel upset at the faucet, I glared at it as if my stare would scare it into obedience. I bopped them both several more times and then turned to dry my hands while hoping that somehow the faucet would stop spewing water in the meantime. Even once my back was turned to the sinks I heard the steady gushing of water. I stared at the wall for a bit longer but the water continued pouring.
    At that point I was a little miffed. That incorrigible faucet was mocking me. It was depositing gallons of water into the sink just to taunt me and I just couldn't allow it to do so. I bopped both knobs once more and when the faucet failed to feel the wrath of my gaze I spun on my heel and marched out the bathroom door, the sound of water splashing into the sink followed me.
    I realized that the faucet had won and that now I had to go tell someone about it. I walked slowly, ever so slowly, over to the librarian and waited patiently for her to finish talking on the phone, instead she told the person to hold on and then asked what the matter was. After telling her, she burst out laughing and told me that the faucets are automatic and they turn off after a minute or so. I managed to laugh as well though I felt it was an act of surrender to the dreadful faucet.
    I walked out of the library that day with far less energy than when I entered, and more than a little thankful that I still have time before I'm actually an adult.

D ~ Dear Diary

  I am well aware of how late I am getting this post made, and I apologize for that, but life just occupied most of my time today and between having plumbing issues, spending hours spring cleaning Diane's and my room, doing school etc, it's no wonder I'm getting to my post late in the day.

  I'm sure a good few of you are aware of what my Awk+Awe posts are, and I have just recently had my single most embarrassing moment in my entire life, which I recorded affectionately with many a grimace in my diary. And lucky for you, not only do you get to read my diary, but you get to learn about an awkwardly embarrassing moment in a person's life that you most likely don't even know. (I know for a fact I love random awkward stories from complete strangers.)

  My experience was as follows:

Dear Anne,

  Oh why did I have to have such a very Rose day?!
  The event I had to live through (unfortunately,) happened at my home school group when we were playing jeopardy. It was my turn to walk up and take my seat, I marched over to  my chair, my hand was readied to slap onto my buzzer, I sized up my opponents and felt ready to tackle the world.
  The category my friend Ryder chose was "Capitals" I awaited eagerly for the question, which turned out to be "What is the capital of Hawaii?" Oh, that was an easy question, I was so ready and totally had the answer in the bag, I smacked down on my buzzer with the adrenaline that rushed through me, this was terrific!
  I was the first out of a chain of buzzer thumps and I felt utterly victorious, then all of a sudden my brain blanked, it felt like time was ticking insanely loudly as I frantically hurried through the vast barrenness that was my mind, searching desperately for anything at all that was related to Hawaii.
  The time was ticking, I could feel the tension in the room, then at long last my brain latched onto something Hawaiian and feeling utterly confident I yelled the fateful word into the air.
  Heads turned and shrieks of disbelief clouded the air, as raucous laughter followed my statement. My mind clouded with confusion, and then the word that I had shouted registered in my mind, into the silence I had hollered "Aloha!!"
  Instant death by a lightning strike would have been welcome, my cheeks glowed as red as the lava in a Hawaiian volcano, no one believed me when I said I knew it was Honolulu. Oh Anne! I fear I shall forever be remembered as the Aloha girl!

  Surely my fellow bloggers, you must understand the true courage it took for me to bare such an atrocity of my past with you, but, till tomorrow, Aloha.

I Went on an Adventure

  For a while now we (as in my family) have been planning to go to a home school group where a lot of my friends go. Last Friday was the first day of this semester and I was unbelievably nervous upon arriving at our church where the group meets every week.
  Though quite a lot happened on my first day, I will only be sharing the highlights of my day with you. The highlights not as in only the best of the "good" moments but as in the best of the awkward moments as well.

#1. Upon first arriving, there was only one other family at church so I walked over to the girls from that family. The one girl (I will be calling her Christina) Christina, and I struck up a conversation and she pulled out her phone to show me the pictures of all the people that would be arriving momentarily. Upon seeing that she was confused at how I knew who so many of the people were I told her that my friends on facebook shared lots of  pictures of those people. Later on then, Christina introduced me to Zeke, who was one of her friends. This is how she introduced us, "Zeke this is Rose, and Rose meet Zeke." That was all peaches and cream but then with a big grin Christina turns to Zeke and further says, "Zeke you don't know Rose but she knows you because she stalks everybody on facebook." I was all like awkward grin and thanks a lot Christina.

#2. Christina and I were hanging out later on and just as I was opening my mouth to say something she decided to do a dramatic hair flip and after pulling out her hair from its position stuck in between my teeth I noticed that it tastes like dusty fruit.

#3. I was wearing a navy blue t-shirt with the words of "What's taters, precious?" printed across the front, so when everyone started arriving Giselle walked past me and she stopped short when she noticed my shirt and after a few seconds her eyes opened wide and she said "Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew." I'm supposing you can all guess that we struck up a conversation after that.

#4. There was an absolutely adorable little baby girl named Gabriella that I got to help babysit alongside Christina for an hour or two, that little human melted my heart.

#5. I don't know why but for some strange reason my poor curls were constantly being tugged at by random people. To the point where I threatened to hiss at whoever tugged my curls again. This statement made Christina laugh and so she purposely tugged my curls just to see me hiss.

#6. At chemistry class (a bunch of games based around the periodic table of elements) while seated at my table I looked down at the home printed game currency that was being distributed by a little boy and looked over at my recently acquired friend Sabrina and we suffered from anxiety attacks together from how lopsided the currency was cut out. OCD problems.

#7. While still at chemistry class Wade turns to Sabrina and I and asks if we can whistle with our hands ( he demonstrated a bird whistle by blowing into his hand in some technical method ) I laughed at the very idea of me being able to whistle and at his questioning look I tipped up my head and demonstrated my inability to whistle.

#8. At writing class we did improv and while Kat got to be a clock, Diane was a cherry (poor her), Callie was an alien, Sabrina screamed every time someone said "and", and Lacey was a braid obsessed maniac, I got to be a country girl. Have any of you ever heard my southern imitation? It's hysterical. 

  I'm sure that tonight I will have to sit up abruptly in bed and be like "Aw man, I could have written about this experience too" But since I can't think of what exactly "this " experience is I will just end this post with a hearty southern accented Goodbye.

First Date Fears

  Back in the days when I was a little girl the thing that scared me the most was the dark, well, at least what was in the dark. But now I have come to realize that being scared of what's in the dark is a waste of time, and since I am prone to be "logical" I have now spent my horror on something much worse than the dark, something that haunts me at every turn, First Date Fears.

  I have collected quite a massive list of horrifying possible happenings on first dates and because of all of those possibilities I have decided to spread awareness about FDP (also known as first date phobia) by sharing my list of terrible possibilities.

First Date Fears

Coating my face in food because I ordered something messy

Choking on food

Spewing food or drink in my date's face

Knocking over my glass

Tripping and falling

Sneezing

Getting hiccups

Laughing with food in my mouth

Saying something stupid

Freezing in awkward silence

Snort while laughing

Having nothing to say

Spill food on my clothes

Accidentally insult him

Get lost in thought while he is saying something important

Say something intended as a joke but turns out not funny

Come over-dressed (cocktail dress to play baseball)

Awkward Shopping Experience

  There are a number of Amish stores in our area. We don't visit them often, but occasionally my Mom needs something not available in normal stores. When that happens she will drive to the store and then stay in the van while either my brother Eldon or I go in to buy what ever it is she needed. (It's all part of growing up in a family where the parents are being shunned by the Amish.)

  The following is the account of the first time I was the one responsible for doing the purchasing:

  Last summer we made frequent visits to a little Amish store where we would proceed to buy fresh fruit and vegetables. One particular time I was sent to go do the buying of a broom, peaches, and corn. I took a deep breath, straightened my skirt, and stepped right out into the unknown depths of awkwardness.

  I looked around searching for someone to help with my purchasing. My eyes found nothing and quietness almost deafened me. A movement caught my eye and I found a woman in a produce shed arranging boxes. "I would like a broom" I said, awkwardly approaching her. She eyed me strangely and then started walking to a tiny trailer. I followed her, just happy to have something to do. Inside, the trailer smelled like dust and old jello. She led me towards a bin of brooms and asked "Which one." I smiled and went for a purple broom. This was easy. Gaining confidence with every step I told her I would like half a peck of peaches. Once again I was inclined to follow her as she silently the way.

  Once inside of her produce shed I was left to hold my broom and inspect their ceiling as she quietly counted peach after peach into a bag. My eyes grew bigger and bigger as one after another peach filled a bulging paper bag. She straightened up and handed the heavy bag to me. Grimacing I took the bag thinking it was going to burst any minute spewing peaches all over the floor and my pride. "And 2 dozen corn" I said concentrating on carrying my awkward load.

  This time she led me outdoors towards where my Mom's minivan was parked. I ignored my family's snickering faces and followed her to a massive bin of corn where she proceeded to fill bag after bag of corn. I shifted my broom, shoving it under my arm and hoisted my bag of peaches to try and make room for all those bags of corn. She eyed my load uncertainly then heaped the bags of corn into my hands too. Then she stood there looking at her feet while she waited for me to pay her. Obviously I wasn't in any position to get my wallet and pay her at the moment so I struggled and dragged, clanged, huffed, and stumbled my way over to the trunk of my Mom's minivan where I disposed of my load.

  Drawing up the last scraps of what was left of my dignity I took my wallet and sheepishly paid her. She counted the money and nodded towards me and we both went our separate ways.

  Finally I was free to collapse into the minivan where I was bombarded with supportive snickers and outright laughter. My only comfort was that she had been every bit as uncomfortable as I had been.