L ~ Life on the Farm

  Whenever we had gone to my Grandma's surprise birthday party/reunion, I got to play one of my favorite board games again, Life on the Farm.

  Now we do have the same game at home but I had not played it in a very long time because either I had forgotten how fun it was to play, or perhaps it was just fun playing it with cousins I didn't even know existed.

  Anyways, it was after the whole reunion that my Mum brought to light a very hilarious bit of information about my Grandpa concerning that good old fashioned game. It so seems that my Grandpa very dearly abhorred the expense cards that made you kill a cow, or have one run over or shot, etc. So much in fact that one day he took all of those cards out of the deck and stuck them in his pants pockets before playing the game. Then a few days later my Grandma had washed his pants, oblivious to the hidden nightmares inside, and those cards were destroyed never to plague anyone ever again.
 
 Maybe that is why it much more fun playing Life on the Farm at my grandparent's place.

Why a Human Hamster Wheel is Never a Good Idea

     Everyone in my family knows that when someone gets into a scrape it was usually caused by me, and they are right of course. But I simply can't help it, my imagination and ideas always get the better of me. They always sound like solid, good, ingenious ideas at the time but more often than not I find myself in a predicament. Which brings us to my latest and greatest idea that landed my sister Diane and I into "a heap of trouble."

     On March 16th, Wednesday, in the year 2016 another great idea came to mind on a beautifully sunny afternoon in our back yard. While Diane and I were wandering around outside I noticed an old, rusted, hay feeder propped up on a small pile of old logs in our back yard. Well,  since I love to put old things to good use, I came up with a  brilliant idea for the hay feeder. Why let it rust away all lonely on that pile of logs when Diane and I could just simply hoist it off the logs and roll across the yard on it like a human hamster wheel, have an adventure, and then put it back where we got it.

     Well, we did have an adventure all right, a hilariously horrible one. First, moving the feeder off of the logs was a lot harder than I had expected because it was really heavy. Our creek was right behind the feeder so if we weren't careful we were all going to crash right into the creek with the hay feeder on top of us. The whole time while we were heaving and pushing Diane was very busy muttering  "all of your crazy ideas" and, "why do I always get dragged into your crazy ideas."

     When we finally got the feeder lifted off of the logs we almost met our doom when the feeder decided it would be nice to hurtle towards the creek, Diane and I shrieked and tugged and finally managed to drag it over to a flat spot in our back yard. I climbed into the hay feeder thinking that all of our hard work was just about to be paid off, I grabbed onto the feeder's rungs and started rolling, but instead of the effortless carefree fun I had imagined the feeder insisted on rolling backwards when I wasn't rolling it forward. Diane was quickly behind me propping up the feeder as I rolled and stumbled onto my face in a forward progression.

     Even after seeing how my turn had been Diane took a turn too, but this time it was down the hill towards the pile of logs where we were going to hoist the feeder up again after Diane had finished her turn. But goodness! Her turn was horrifying, we went flying down that hill with my heels digging into the grass, leaving ugly marks behind us while Diane screeched at the top of her lungs, all of that time of course, that feeder was intent on rattling along making an exuberant amount of noise as the rusty bolts hit the ground. When I finally stopped the runaway "Hamster wheel" Diane and I slowly turned to face each other, with both of us fearing that Mom would stick her head out of the living room window any minute now to find us trying to casually hide the massive hay feeder behind us.

     It was time to put the hay feeder back where we got. Naturally, it was not anywhere near as easy as I had expected, I had forgotten to calculate the tree that was hovering over the log pile in the first place so instead of rolling the hay feeder onto the logs we smacked it into tree branches almost decapitating ourselves. I burst out laughing at the hilarity of the situation while Diane questioned my sanity. Eventually we got it dragged over  beside the logs where we decided we should just hoist it side-ways onto the logs and push it on the rest of the way.  That impossible hunk of metal was even heavier than we had ever imagined it would be.

     After extreme exertion we managed to lift it onto the pile of logs and we hurriedly propped it up and almost collapsed with exhaustion. One thing we had completely forgotten though is that the hay feeder was extremely rusty so when we looked at our hands they were completely covered in thick, crusty, layers of orange filth.

     Two things I learned though from this adventure. Number one, rust washes off of hands moderately easy. And number two, A human hamster wheel is never, under no circumstances, a good idea.

The House of Many Faces

  Our house is filled with many faces. I don't know if other people see faces in almost everything, but I do.

  So today I am going to show you all just a few of the faces that live in our house and to start it off here is our adorable face that smiles at us all in our living room.

  Then we have a very annoying face that resides in our upstairs bathroom, it is always very hard to try taking a comfortable bath with this snoopy thing staring bug-eyed right at you.

 

  And last but most definitely not the least is this charmingly gruesome monster that rules the refrigerator, scowling at anyone who opens the door.

Never Trust Pinterest with your Face

     As a teen I am trying to accept the fact that  I struggle with pimples. Everyone knows how evil those swollen little lumps of red are. I have tried different things that didn't work and my Mom got some things, but they also didn't do anything for my condition.

    Then one day while browsing through Pinterest I found this supposedly "wonderful" home remedy for pimples. It called for apple cider vinegar, honey, and egg whites, I was set, I had finally found the perfect pimple solution. I planned the treatment for early the next morning in hopes of having a pimple free face to go to church on Sunday.

     When I awoke the next day I hurried downstairs, skimmed through the recipe and the instructions and set out to make it. I started mixing my ingredients together and making sure to measure them properly I got everything ready and since I have a sister that I am really close to, I had told her about it all and we decided it would be fun to do this together, so Diane met me by the bathroom and we carefully applied the slimy goo to our faces in circular motions, after fighting back a few gags we washed the sticky, slimy, egg whites off our hands and went to our room to relax for ten peaceful minutes.

  "Ooh I can feel it working," I said excitedly.

  " Oh I know, and I hope we look really pretty and our faces smooth" agreed Diane.

   Once the timer rang we  hurried to wash our faces with the recommended "warm" water. We giggled excitedly then scurried to the bathroom to look at our faces in the mirror, after one look we turned to face each other and both screamed in horror, our faces were completely red, blotchy, and puffy.

  "Oh my goodness tomorrow is church" I squeaked frantically.

  " We need to hide, we can't be seen" Diane said while tugging at certain parts of her face.

   We decided that would be the basement. We were hoping it would wear off if we waited long enough, so after playing various games, like hopscotch and jump rope for about an hour we crept upstairs to look at our faces again.

  "I look horrid" I whispered hopelessly.

  "So do I" Diane said encouragingly.

  After looking at each other again we burst into gales of laughter, pointing and laughing at each other we walked into the living room and started laughing again since somehow everyone was sitting in there reading and immediately looked up at us. Of course their feeble attempts to cheer us up were marred by the fact that they had to laugh every time they looked at us.

  So that is why you should never trust Pinterest with your face, that is unless you think this whole experience would be an absolutely marvelous bonding experiment for you and your sister, friend, or Mother.