Thursday, October 13, 2016

To Cry or not to Cry

  I mentioned yesterday that I would talk some more about my experience while watching The Hobbit; Battle of the Five Armies. So here I am preparing to bare my heart to all of you.

  All of the Hobbit movies were so vividly acted out that it was impossible not to be taken on a journey right along side Bilbo, Thorin, and the rest of the company of fourteen. So naturally I grew to be very attached to all of the dwarves with their charmingly blunt ways of going about their adventure.

  My emotional ride all began when Bard the Bowman was reunited with his children after surviving the Dragon's fire. It was an obviously touching scene that served to soften me up, which I later discovered was just exactly what Peter Jackson (the director) wanted so that everyone was good and ready to shed a tear or two when Kili gives Tauriel his promise (the stone) to reunite with her.

  I thought that the single tear that I had shed over Kili and Tauriel's parting would be it for the movie, and especially thought so after Thorin became a maniacal, gold-obsessed king. But no, after ages of Thorin becoming more and more crazed to the point of actually threatening his own kindred, which caused them unbelievable grief, Peter Jackson wanted us to become even more emotionally distraught so he went and made Thorin come to his senses just when the company had had it and were about to desert Thorin even though he was their king. Naturally everyone was holding a sob in their throats when Thorin marched out onto the battle field alongside his friends, his brothers in spirit, to help them fight their battle. I had thought my world was okay then but no, just after Thorin came to his senses and became closer than he had ever been before to his companions, Azog  went and killed Fili, right in front of Kili at that. (They were very close brothers, young and always laughing together as it was their way of making it through all of the darkness.) It was at that moment that I knew Peter Jackson and the world in general was very, very cruel. How could you possibly dare to break a bond so pure as brother's?!

  It took me only seconds to fill with a venomous hatred for Azog, how dare he be so unbelievably evil and feel no remorse? It was astoundingly awful. Once again I was blind to Peter Jackson's plot. I had just felt love, kindness, sorrow, and hatred. But was Peter Jackson done? No, once again, of course not.

  Bolg (brother of Azog) went and attacked Tauriel, Kili, upon hearing Tauriels cries rushed to her aid caring only for her safety, his love towards her was so great. Absolutely nothing I had ever experienced before in my existence even came close to the horrible, soul paining anguish I felt when Bolg turned around and killed Kili, right then and there, in front of Tauriel. Tears were streaming out my face and I almost choked with sadness when Kili, the whole time that he was dying, gazed steadily at Tauriel with nothing but complete, pure love in his eyes, all the while she was sobbing but never broke her gaze from his eyes either.

  After that I felt empty, there was nothing left in me to stop the tears from  rolling down my face. Kili was never supposed to die, he was supposed to live happily ever after with Tauriel, his love for her was supposed to protect him from harm, but it didn't. It defied everything that was right in this world having him die right then and there. And it served only to prove to everyone that happy endings are only real to the person who hasn't lived.

  He had previously dragged us all through various heart wrenching scenes of sadness and then a monster of some sort was just about to kill Thorin when Legolas (an elf, not as in a short and wart covered little man with pointed shoes, but a tall man with long blonde hair and blue eyes) turned around and killed the monster by throwing his sword into it. (It was quixotic feat in real life, but elves are extremely impeccable marksmen, and everything else really.) Thorin stood on trembling legs and drew the sword from the monster and spent a moment looking at it - he had previously held an irrational hatred towards elvish crafted swords- but there he was, standing brave and turned to fight Azog himself. My realization at Thorin's acceptance of elves caused a wobbly smile to show through all of my tears that were still pouring out from previous traumas.

  To see Thorin die then by Azog's doing left me completely exhausted and gave me a frightful headache. After that movie ended my life didn't feel the same, I didn't feel the same. My views on about pretty much everything had changed and my surroundings seemed so fickle, so superficial, it couldn't be explained. But all of it, all of the horror that I had just endured was to blame on Peter Jackson. He was/is to blame for my hollowness!

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Disclaimer: Even though I suffered emotional trauma, I'm sure I will watch it again, because I really love the entire Hobbit/LOTR series.

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